Friday night. He sent a message in friendster if she’s free the next day and if she wants to go to Majayjay. She agreed. She told him to wake her up by 2 am in able for her to prepare for the camp. He beeped her at 4 am. “I’m already here with Louie at Wendy’s Boni Ave., you said 4 am, how come you’re not here yet?” He asked. “Yah, I did agree with the 4 am call time but I told you to wake me up by 2 am for me to know that we’re really going and you’re not just pulling my leg, damn it.” She crammed. So when they’re in the bus going to Sta. Cruz, Laguna she realized that there were a lot of stuffs that she forgot. She forgot her towel, a blanket, a pair of socks (because she wears a pair of slippers), and other stuffs like soap, shampoo, and conditioner. It’s a long boring trip. Every once in a while he’s asking her ridiculous questions. He asked her who her boyfriend is right now. She just stared at the window ignoring him. Not because she doesn’t want to answer it but because she’s half-bored to death with this kind of icebreaker. “So, who’s the lucky guy?”, “Nakailang boyfriend ka na since hindi tayo nagkita?” “…two years din yun ah, ano na nangyari sayo, bakit di ka nagparamdam?” She wished she could tell him to shut up. Instead, she segued by asking him if there’s a girl in the camp. He grinned and asked her why. She knows what he’s thinking. She asked him if she could use his cellphone because she needed to text her friend from UP Los Baños, she needed to tell her that’s she’s going to be an accomplice whether she likes it or not. Her father should not know that she’s going to Majayjay with guys, no girls. If her father only knows.
The trail going to Majayjay falls was disappointing, she thought. She expected it to be more nature-like not human-made. It has been cemented so that it would be easier for tourists to get there.
That’s the first time that she ever saw a falls.
He held her hands and helped her to cross the other side of the river. They fixed the tent and put a hammock adjacent to it. Louie told them that he’s going to sleep in the hammock later. Nobody dared to ask why.
They went to the falls to test the water. It was ice-cold (literally not figuratively). Everybody agreed that it’s a bad idea to stay long in the water and they decided to go to the top of the falls instead.
It’s exhausting yet rewarding.
Climbing to the top of Majayjay falls without any equipment but roots from trees is like driving 150kph on a stormy day in Calabarzon without seatbelts donned. But seeing the top is like a Utopian dream and all the fear of heights was worth it. Louie started to shoot. He started to dive all around the area. She wanted to dive too but she was afraid of the current. She might find herself embarrassingly falling in the cliff like action stars. Much worse, she will never see this happening; she will die soon of heart attack before she even reaches the bottom. She just wandered around with Louie and looked for a nuno, but didn’t find any. Instead she saw a narrow body of water that connects a small body of water to the big falls. It was so beautiful and slippery. Nobody dared to lay a foot to it because the current is so strong. She told them that she will call it “The Vagina of Majayjay Falls.” He giggled like a six-grader who saw a porn flick for the first time. “What a kinky name”, he told her. “So, where’s the ovary?” He teased. He thought she was kidding. But she wasn’t. She wondered if the vagina is still a virgin. She wondered if anybody paid attention to it like she did. She wondered if she would be able to experience swimming on it despite the fact that she might get killed if she tried to do so. “So, why won’t you dive?” he asked her. “You know, diving is something that you shouldn’t hesitate doing. Whenever you’re in a good spot, you should not prepare to jump. Just jump. If you hesitate, you will find yourself backing out and regretting the lost opportunity of doing it” he added. “Ah, kinda like sex” she told herself. She thought that if given a chance to do it, nobody should hesitate or prepare whatsoever. Just jump. Just swim. Lost control in the current and experience the sudden bliss of being submissive to your raging hormones. If you hesitate, you will lose the opportunity of doing it and blame yourself forever.
But doing it without thinking or hesitating would probably lead to some regretful situations after and blaming yourself forever too. If you didn’t check the water first before swimming you might get HIV. It could seem like nothing’s wrong but remember that even doctors can’t detect an HIV-positive-person until on its sixth month. So you have to take precautions if you don’t want to be killed by the current. It might seem healthy but you’ll never know what’s underneath.
The falls is very cold. It could release your body heat and cure your obsession of doing “it”. But it could destroy you too. It could devour you entirely and drown yourself. Afterwards, you’ll regret that you did it. You just lost a friendship and you can’t forgive yourself and you will blame yourself forever.
☻☺☻
They cooked corned beef and grilled eggplants for dinner. He and Louie warmed themselves by drinking Matador brandy. She declined. She doesn’t want to find herself in terrible trouble if she got drunk with guys. She just boiled some ginger ale to warm herself with. They planned to make a bonfire that night but because of gas shortage, they decided to let the opportunity pass. They must save gas for the whole night for security purposes and not risk using it for a bonfire and get bitten by a cobra or some wild animal when they run out of fire.
She was sleeping when she felt that he embraced her. She didn’t refuse. But when she felt that he’s palpitating badly she got guilty. She left him hanging a couple of times before. She has her reasons and he respected those. Finally, she decided to give in halfway. She faced him and caressed his chest. He jumped without hesitations. Like diving. Just jump. Don’t think. After a couple of minutes he tried to enter her. She declined. Déjà vu. It happened before. He thought this time would be different. But it was not. It’s even worse from the last time. He tried doing it with her a couple times each ended with disappointment and devastation of stopping halfway. He asked her why. She’s old enough. He’s going to withdraw it. Why? Well, nothing really. She just doesn’t want to.
Finally he told her, “Kasi babae ang gusto mo! Ayun. Tama. Shit. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, ng puso ko, pati ng puson ko.” “Tama na nga ‘tong kalokohan na ‘to!” He angrily went out of the tent. As for her, she looked for her undergarments and tried to sleep with frozen feet and hands.
☻☺☻
That morning she went out of the tent and found him sitting in the hammock. He invited her to sit beside him. She asked him what he’s planning to do now. He was a fine arts student. He stopped. He then took nautical engineering afterwards. He stopped again. Now he’s 24 years old. “So, anong plano mo ngayon?” she asked. He answered her with silence. “Sa bagay, parehas tayo. Kahit ako, hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ba talaga ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko.” She added. “Alam mo, hindi naman porket nakatapos ka, magiging successful ka na, ang dami dyan hindi tapos pero maganda ang takbo ng buhay nila, dapat lang talaga masaya ka sa ginagawa mo. Hindi yung nakikinig ka sa kung anu-anong dinidikta sayo ng mundo.” He pointed out. “Kung sabagay, pero minsan kasi kelangan mo kumumpromiso. Kasi kahit saang anggulo mo tignan, hindi ka rin magiging masaya kung yung gusto mo lang ang pagbabasehan mo. Madaming bagay sa mundo na punong-puno ng pagkumpromiso. Katulad na lang nyan. Sige lang. Madami kayong pera at hindi mo kelangang mag-aral at magtrabaho. Masaya ka sa ginagawa mo. Bundok dito. Swimming dun. Alak, yosi, doobie ka lang. Gym ka lang twice a week para ma-maintain yang mga pandesal mo dyan, tapos? Tingin mo masaya kaya ang nanay mo? Ngayon, kaya mo pa kayang maging masaya kung malungkot ang nanay mo sa mga pinaggagagawa mo sa buhay mo?” She said. Once again, he answered with silence.
Being happy is an ironically complicated thing. Sometimes you can’t be happy by doing what you want but by doing what you don’t want knowing that people you love so dearly would be happy if you do it.
☻☺☻
The terminal is near a gasoline station. When they were waiting for the jeep to be filled with passengers, she asked Louie what’s the difference of using diesel and unleaded. “Ano ba ang pinagkaiba ng diesel sa unleaded? Ung premium ba eh unleaded? Ano naman yung gas? Magkaiba ba yun? Anong oras kaya tayo makakarating sa Manila? She asked Louie. “Ewan, basta ang alam ko yung diesel ginagamit sa mga trak, yung unleaded sa mga kotse. Yung mileage nila halos parehas lang, depende na lang kung gaano kalaki ang makina ng sasakyan mo. Maganda yung sa Japan, charge na lang ang battery parang celpon, kaso ang hassle dun pag malayo ang pupuntahan mo kelangan may baon kang extra battery kasi walang chargan sa mga probinsya, sa city lang. Meron ngayon bago ah yung gas. Yun, mas matipid yun.” Louie answered. “Meron din tubig na lang diba? Yun ang siguradong matipid. Eh, diba kelangan mo pa magpa-convert nun kung gusto mo naka-gas ang kotse mo? Beinte mil din yun ah.” She continued. “Oo, kaso matipid yun. Kaya madami ang nagpapaconvert. Tignan mo, magkano na ang unleaded ngayon, kwarenta’y sinko na, samantalang kung mag-gagas ka, beinte tres lang yan kada litro. Halos kalahati din yun. Laki ng matitipid mo. Tapos yung matitipid mo, pang-burol mo yun pag nasabugan ka ng gas.” Louie concluded.
☻☺☻
Sunday. 10 pm. It’s raining hard when the bus stopped at Guadalupe. Again, the trip was boring like hell. They said goodbye casually to each other. She’s up to the next bus stop- Boni Avenue. As she got out of the bus she asked herself if she will see him again. If ever, she will look forward to that day. What would he be after another two years?
She slept soundly that night. She doesn’t want to wake up the next morning knowing that when she does, she’ll be facing again so many fears and confusions that temporarily forgotten under Majayjay’s orgasm.
Disclaimer: This is a fiction you moron.
