Sinigang na Malu Baboy Fernandez

Am I being a diva? Or do you lack common sense?

As I type this, I’d like you to know that it’s not about whining, complaining and bitching but just stating the facts. Just recently, I wrote a funny article in my magazine column and my friends thought it was hilarious. It was humorous and quite tongue-in-cheek, or at least I thought so, until the magazine got a few e-mails from people who didn’t get the meaning of my acerbic wit. The bottom line was just that I had offended the reader’s socioeconomic background. If any of these people actually read anything thicker then a magazine they would find it very funny. Most people don’t get the fact that they need bitches like me to shake up their world, otherwise their lives would be boring and mediocre. I obviously write for the a certain target audience and if what I write offends you, just stop reading.

Although it may sound elitist to you the fact is this country is built on the foundation of haves, have-nots and wannabes. One group will never get the culture of the other. Although I could mention that it is easier to understand someone who has a lower socioeconomic background that would entail a whole other page and frankly I don’t want to be someone to bridge the gap between socioeconomic classes. I leave that to the politicians in my family who believe they can actually help. Now I seriously ask you, am I being a diva or are people around me just lacking in common sense? Perhaps it’s a little of both!

- Malu Fernandez, Manila Standard Today, July 30, 2007

Are you divaboylicious or fat and flabiloose?

Anyhow, you made my mundane life fantastic through your acerbic wit-pax. And let me now then bring you back the favor – Let me make your life beautiful – if you believe that to have a not boring and not mediocre life needs bitches.

Firstly, I would like to congratulate you; you really did shake up my world! I’m a daughter of an OFW and thanks to my beloved father I have actually read something thicker than a magazine. And now I will disprove that pseudo-intellectual analysis of yours, or maybe you just plagiarized that elitist statement from other pseudo-intellectual-puta. You said that dealing with stupidity is something you can’t tolerate but I think you don’t even know how to define “stupid.” Or maybe you are stupid. If you are not stupid, how can you not analyze first who would read your article? Yes, you have a certain market but have you ever think who are they? They are FILIPINOS, puta. And yes, maybe you are writing for these high-end sophisticated social climbers who don’t admit that they use AXE or Charlie Cologne but have you ever thought that they have relatives? And maybe one of their relatives were the one who toil hard enough in a foreign country for them not to experience using low-end brands and be able to buy overpriced magazines such as the one you have a stupid column with? Do you have a slightest idea that the ones you insulted were the ones who read your column and put money on your pocket in able for you to travel From Boracay to Greece and have that “fabulous” life? And what are these blabbering about the socioeconomic classes? Hadn’t Mahatma Gandhi solved this issue? He sacrificed his entire lifetime for that.

This is why I hate the burgis and much more the feeling-burgis. If you are so burgis, why do you have to get an economy ticket? Another thing, if you are so amazed with the Americans then what the heck are you doing here in the Philippines? Don’t bite the hands that feed you. And those Ms. Malu Fernandez, are the FILIPINOS.

Now I seriously ask you, Are you divaboylicious or fat and flabiloose? Perhaps it’s a little of both!