Unsent

There are lots of things I don’t like doing that I have to do. For instance, wearing leather shoes with heels. I don’t like this because it hurts my feet. But I have to. It’s a requirement for working in the corporate world. Just like not seeing you anymore. It’s a requirement for living under the society’s procedure.

I don’t believe that certain things would work out. Like having an affair with your classmate. Well maybe I adhere to this belief since you’re going to see your classmate everyday. And classrooms are chambers meant for studying and discussions of more important matters such as the Theory of Devolution or The Communist Manifesto rather than exercising Sigmund Freud’s Theory about human behavior and actions being based on one’s libido.

(I think this is insanely factual. You eat Bonita Burgers because you like to have sex. You drink eight glasses of water a day because you like to have sex. You study the postmodern narrative techniques in Charlie Kaufman’s Screenplays because you like to have sex. You watch Jewel in the Palace because you like to have sex. Analyze it, all you do in life will lead to the conclusion that you do these things because of one reason- You like to have sex.)

Also, I don’t believe that friends could be err,

WARNING: this next line is really sappy.

I don’t believe that friends could be more than friends.

I think this often happens because guys deny that they like the girl. It’s a part of their stupid strategy. They will start from befriending the girl and all her girlfriends and then eventually draft his tactics like Sun Tzu. And Voila! The girl who likes ponies rather than reading Sun Tzu and Jessica Zafra will gradually buy it. And bestfriends will be bestfriends with benefits.

I value friendship. Ok. If you happen to know me and you’re reading this, please let me first finish and hold your repetitive curse of “Die hypocrite”.

I am not a hypocrite. And that’s the reason why I lost a friend. Or maybe friends.

When things happen in your life, they happen so fast you don’t have time to decide. You’ll just realize that you shouldn’t do it when it’s too late and you’ll regret you did it.

And I don’t believe that after an affair, parties involve can sort things out and be friends again. This for me is beyond impossible. That’s it. Period.

∞

I will go straight to the point. I don’t want this to happen. I don’t want to be in this phase wherein we stop doing what we do everyday. It pains me. But I guess I just have to deal with it since I am not really sure if you still want me to bug you once in a while.

I’m not ok but I’m getting there.

Sometimes, I regret that we have to undergo this stage. Can we skip this and be friends? Or can we still be?

The only thing that I want to save from this mess is our friendship.

This is sincere.

Please, let’s stop this non-sense and move on.

I want you to call me again every night.

I want you to text me every minute of the day and make these stupid networks go kaput for sending us overpriced useless picture messages and crappy ringtones.

I want you to tell me how moronic I am for letting go certain job opportunities because I believe that no company should give anybody a salary that’s below minimum wage.

I want you to remind me to be humble and not shout at my trainer when he starts to go ballistic because I don’t know the process of blood circulation.

I missed you.

∞

I dislike accepting defeats. Like accepting that sometimes things I don’t like and contradicts my beliefs would happen to me. Like wearing leather shoes with heels. Like working in a corporate world. Like conforming to everything that would give me comfort and security in the future. Like having an affair with your classmate. Like having a friend with benefits. Like missing someone so bad you swallow your pride and text them.

Like having this post-affair-trauma I’ll say to myself I will never get myself involved again in these twisted, complicated kind of affairs. (But I’m sure I will again. Because I’m a masochist.)

But there is one thing I don’t believe could happen that I want to happen now.

Let’s forget all that happened. I know it’s beyond impossible. But there were lots of bullshit impossible things that had happened to me. Let’s give this one a try.

Let’s be friends.